This love is killin' me. But you're the only one.

Stupid Thong, stupid stupid stupid. Always pissing me off and making me down. Seriously, he shouldn't even be taking this much of my time. I'm in college now. I'm supposed to get out and have fun. But it's barely the first day, and already, I'm disappointed in him. Again.

He said one week ago that he'd see me off before I head off to college. And I asked him how will he do that, and he said he'll just drive down from UCI. It was simple. Then three days later, he said he'd see me off again. And two days later, he said so again. And yesterday, he said that he'd see me off. And I asked him one more time if he would be busy with UCI stuff. He said no. And when I asked him what time he would come home, he said early in the morning. And then I told him that I'd be home at five. How would it work? And he said that there would be no activities on Sunday. So it wouldn't matter. So...expect a letter in the mailbox. And expect him there to see me off. And so, I did. I looked forward to seeing him one last time before I headed up to UCLA.

But when the time came, and I got home, he was no where in sight... I called him to tell him that I'm leaving soon and he didn't seem to know what the matter was. So he said, "Okay, good luck." And that was that. I asked him if I should wait for him. And he said no....

And so I just predicted that he was really busy. That's why he didn't have time to visit me.

But later that night, it showed otherwise. Apparently, he didn't even remember telling me that. And then he went on and said, "Well, I was busy," "You have to spend time with your family," "Your boyfriend shouldn't butt in," "I had to buy stuff and I had lots of thing to do," "Cristina, I have my own work to do." And basically, he came up with all the bullshitting excuses in the book. Fuck you Thong. If you're going to be like that, then you might as well not say that you'd meet up with me. I mean, it's not like you just mentioned it once. You said it. And you went back and reinforced it into my head every single day after that. And right when you got me to the point where I'm expecting your visit, you simply forgot what you said and acted as though nothing's wrong.

And you know what's the worse part? Your face. How nonchalant it was. How you didn't seem to care. And YOU looked pissed off. As though it was my fault. And you accused me of demanding too much. When all I did was wait for you to do what you said you'd do. Like every other time.

And the stupidest thing is that I always go back to trusting your damn words.