Its all... been bottled up until now...

So on the tenth, Dad and Nancy got into a big argument - though it stemmed from something small. Huong came to visit and she brought her dog with her. My parents don't allow dogs in the house. But in the end, the dog ran in and out. The guests hugged the dog and went all over the sofa and whatnot. Doesn't seem that big, but it really bugged my parents. And when they left, dad yelled at Nancy for always causing him trouble. He went about wiping the couch and cussing. And then he forced Nancy to throw the three books into the patio because Huong used it at her house where her dog lives. And Nancy got really mad and he said she can get out any time she wants. She can go live on her own. She can go commit suicide. She can become a whore and do whatever she wants. She can bring home guys and he won't care. And Nancy started crying.

Since then, Nancy has completely ignored him. Around him, she wouldn't care what she did. And yesterday, she dressed up and went to a party without telling him. She came home at 10:30 P.M.

But you see Shabu, my dad has some sort of temper problem. Since he's mad at Nancy, he would get mad at other unnecessary things. And he'd go mad about nothing.

Yesterday, I napped after Thong called. I woke up to yelling and cussing and crying. I went outside and my mom was lying on the hall floor. She was just lying there crying. And next to her, Nanette was hugging her knees crying too. And dad had his mouth shut. I rushed to mom and held her head up. At the same time, Rocco handed me a pillow and I laid her head on it. And she looked so broken. She was just crying.

My mom rarely cries. Shes really strong. She only cries when she can't hold it in any longer. And yesterday was one of those days. I turned accusingly to my dad and yelled, "What the hell did you do!?" And he muttered, "She fell on her own." Richard called him "fucken mental" out loud. And he spun around and glared only to continue his cussing.

He started cussing again. Yelling at my mom. Threatening to kill my grandpa. Accusing my grandpa of tearing this family apart and making him miserable with his religious crap. Exclaiming that my mom pissed him off because she always defends her own dad. Well, is she supposed to sit there and take your crap every single day? Then Rocco stood up. He yelled out "Shut up!" And my dad quickly walked into the living room and roared "Who said that?"

And Rocco said, "I did! Why don't you just shut up!!" and damn, am I proud of you kiddo. Richard and I ran out after him in case he decides to beat up Rocco. Then, we wouldn't hold back. Then, we would finally stand up for our mom and ourselves. But he didn't do anything. He just walked back into his room and acted as though nothing was wrong.

I'm a coward. Richard and Rocco stood up for my mom last night. Richard and Rocco, my two baby brothers. And I was so proud of them. You don't even know.

But me, I was such a coward... I stood there, fists clenched. And at the same time, my insides were trembling. And I told myself to stop trembling but it wouldn't stop. And in the end, I couldn't do anything. Again.

I had to help mom up. He beat her up again. And apparently, he kicked her so hard that she fell over. And now, her neck aches. Her arms are bruised. Her sides were red and scratched up and bruised yesterday. It probably looks worse today. I gave her Chinese oil. And she fell asleep on the couch sniffing and cussing at my dad out loud. Throughout the night, we took turns to come out and check up on her.

Thong called about thirty minutes after everything happened. He thought I cried. I didn't though. I was sad and angry. My voice sounded broken. But I didn't cry.

Talking to Thong was a break from everything. It was refreshing. And I really do enjoy talking to him. Maybe that's why I always want to stay on as long as possible. I was on the computer adding on the the anniversary present. Dad came in and yelled. LOL

It's funny. The reason I can't sleep is because he disturbed my nap. So I said goodnight to Thong. And until three, I still couldn't sleep. I was hungry.... -_- I went out and grabbed two cookies and a cup of milk. LOL My root canal tooth bit one of the nutty thingies and it started aching. So much. And i had to stop eating and rinse out my mouth.

In the end, we didn't go to the swap meet. Mom didn't want to. Probably because she didn't want to see his face. And this morning, he left to go gamble again.